Updated: Sep 26
The Energetics of Perfectionism: When "Good" is Never Enough
If you are reading this, I know you've been there – pouring endless energy into something, relentlessly fine-tuning your thought process, hoping that with just a bit more effort, it will finally be 'perfect.' But have you ever paused to wonder where this drive comes from?
Why, even after giving our best, do we sometimes still feel like we’re falling short? Let’s dive deep into the energetics of perfectionism and its intimate link to that gnawing feeling of never being ‘enough.’
Unmasking The Energetics of Perfectionism
Perfectionism isn't just about wanting to do well. It's about feeling that anything short of perfect is unacceptable. This isn’t merely about high standards; it's about tying our self-worth to those standards. You might feel like if you aren't flawless, you're a failure. It's like setting up a race where the finish line keeps moving further away, no matter how fast you run. Exhausting, isn't it?
The Energy Drain
Imagine pouring water into a container with a hole at the bottom. No matter how much water you pour, it’s never going to be full. That's the energy dynamic of perfectionism. You're giving, doing, striving, but somehow, it feels like it's never enough. This kind of energy drain can lead to burnout, fatigue, and even resentment.
Think about it this way: if you constantly feel the need to be perfect, you're essentially saying, "I'm not good enough as I am, so I need to be more, do more, achieve more."
But let me tell you something you might have forgotten: you are enough. You are inherently valuable just by being yourself, flaws and all.
The Destructive Side of Perfectionism
Now, let's talk about what perfectionism causes because it's not all about striving for excellence.
Unfortunately, perfectionism often leads to a host of negative consequences, and one of the most common ones is paralysis.
Imagine this: you have a brilliant idea for a project or a creative endeavor, but the fear of not doing it perfectly paralyzes you. You procrastinate, you make excuses, and the idea remains just that—an idea. It's as if you're stuck in quicksand, unable to move forward.
Perfectionism can also lead to stress and anxiety. The constant pressure to meet unrealistically high standards can leave you feeling overwhelmed and on edge. It's like having a never-ending to-do list with items that you can never quite check off because they keep changing.
Furthermore, perfectionism often results in burnout. You push yourself so hard that you eventually run out of steam. Your physical and mental health suffer, and you find yourself exhausted and emotionally drained. It's like running a marathon at a sprinter's pace—unsustainable.
Roots of the "Not Enough" Feeling
So, what are we working on when we don't feel like we are enough? What fuels this drive for perfection? If we turn to our Core Life Lesson - Learning to Self-Validate is at the heart of never feeling like you are enough.
Learning to Self-Validate - Perfectionism is sneaky; you may think you are working on validation - with the belief that perfection will get you the recognition you seek, but perfectionism is actually a symptom of wounding created by seeking outside your sense of self.
Think about it this way: if you constantly feel the need to be perfect, you're essentially saying, "I'm not good enough as I am, so I need to be more, do more, achieve more." But let me tell you something you might have forgotten: you are enough. You are inherently valuable just by being yourself, flaws and all.
When we are working to learn to self-validate, we have to learn how to fill ourselves and to be certain in our worth.
Your Path to Transformation
Recognizing the deep energetics of perfectionism is a significant first step. But where do you go from here? This is where the beauty of transformational energy work comes into play. Intrinsic Energy Work® offers a powerful process and teaches you potent tools and practices to help you shift these draining patterns and rediscover your inherent worth.
Before I give you a few tips, here's a little heart-to-heart. You are not the sum of your accomplishments, grades, parenting, likes, or any other external measure.
You are inherently enough. Just as you are. The journey isn’t about becoming perfect; it’s about realizing you already are. So say it with me...I AM ENOUGH!
The shift begins within you. You hold the power to use the key to creating real change in your life. I show you how to find the key!
Here are a few places to start:
A reading is a good place to start. It gives you insight, guidance, and support. It helps you see better what you are working on, how you are working on it, and why. It can help you identify your triggers, which are actually your core wounds, and release them (image the relief!)
Affirmations work really well when we are trying to repair our sense of self. Start with I ... and add what resonates. Here are a few options- see how these make you feel:
I am enough
I deserve to be here
I always do my best
I make a difference
Start to fill in with the energy of Self-Validation. When I first started doing this work, learning to validate myself was a big area for me. I started by filling in with the energy of self-validation (this can be whatever that looks like for you - a color, a word, a feeling, a symbol, the intention)- put that energy into a big bubble above your head, pop it and let that energy fill you in - but I'm a systems person, so I went a step further and put thousands of these bubbles above my head and put them on automatic release so that I was constantly being filled in with my own energy of self-validation.
Begin to notice where and how you seek validation; when you notice that you are seeking validation, instead, fill in with your self-validation energy.
Energy work is simple, and energy work works.
Your healing and growth don't need to be complicated and tedious.
All things that are true are simple in nature.
And let me say one last time before you head off - you are enough. You are doing enough; you are a work in progress. No one is perfect, and in our imperfections, we are perfectly fine. Let the pressure go and say 'thank you' to who you have been and who you are today. Look at everything you navigate and do. You are amazing, and you are enough.
My Love Thyself is a perfect self-directed program to help you go deeper, heal, and learn to self-validate. Get a special offer here.
You get five modules with 29 bite-sized Transformational Intrinsic Energy Work® sessions designed to create an empowering shift into self-love. You'll energetically explore overcoming negative self-talk, insecurity, and uncertainty as well as your relationship to your body, ending with a full module on energetically loving yourself.